No White Smoke

Why have Ireland no manager yet, despite enthusiastic searching and outward hopefulness by the powers(?) that be. Bock figured it out yesterday. Someday, when it all comes out, John Waters will thank us.....

stop blogging!

Ok, everybody back to work. John Waters said ye were all a bunch of negative wierdo types whose views are poisoning the cybersphere. The cute gerbil-like one said to leave commenting on stuff to people like him, who has an editor to tell him when he's talking shite (as if he ever would talk shite!). In fact I wouldn't be surprised if the blogosphere was responsible for the negativity which stopped people voting for his wonderfully optimistic ditty in the Eurovision, thereby hindering a united Europe, which probably had a knock-on effect of destablising the fecking American economy and bringing the whole economy crashing down around us. Enough with the negative vibes already, as they used to say in Roscommon long ago!

heads down till Paddy's day

2008, feck that for a game of cowboys. Wind, rain and poverty. Too many pounds and too few euros. Calls from our 21year old baby boy, complaining about the heat in Cairns, ungrateful little fecker! Visa bills and having to sell my body to get some heating oil. Don't mention bloody sales either if you know what's good for you. The online scrabble addiction hasn't got any better. I'm also the only person in Galway who hasn't caught the dreaded flu, and the paranoia has got to the stage that I'm running away from anyone who looks like they might speak to me. Number two son is deeply depressed that college has restarted and he's not sure that he'll be able to remove his arse from the couch where he's been stewing in his own juices since late December. The dog still thinks he's a cat and the cat still thinks that we're his lazy, good-for nothing servants. Happy new year!

goodbye to all that

Had a great lazy Christmas with family and quite a few nice evenings with friends. Our first Christmas without one of the kids at home, but our eldest rang Christmas morning and chatted for half an hour or so. Told us to turn the turkey upside down for the first three hours. Didn't do it any harm. Had two humbling experiences over the week. One was getting to play a session with Mairtin O'Connor and his lovely young daughter at a friend's house. The second was reading Kurt Vonnegut's last book. It's incredible how people of true genius (not a term I bandy about)make everything seem so simple. Anyway, go mbeirfidh muid beo ar an am seo aris! (that we may be alive at this time next year!)
love and lunacy to all!

singinging

Went to hear Declan O'Rourke Weds night. The boy can sing. Going to hear the third class Christmas play at 11.30. The girls can also sing. The bedroom is filling up with things which need wrapping, leading to a lack of floor space which has necessitated the temporary removal of the bathroom scales (en suite being too small for same). hohoho indeed. Finished work for Christmas already The old mince pie fetish is starting to kick in and the kids are pacing up and down in the hall complaining about dad's "24/7 online scrabble addiction". While we're on the subject, what kind of deluded wierdo would use a scrabble site to try and pick up "saucy young girls" or "hot young gay men". It's SCRABBLE, for God's sake. Scrabble is what you do when you want your social life to be temporarily suspended. When you want to prove to yourself that your brain is not dead, just because it hasn't been used for a while. It's not for writing dirty words and sniggering to yourself. Is it?

blank expression

So if you're supposed to do lots of stuff on Saturday, starting early in the morning and you have to go to the pub Friday night (in the line of duty), you limit yourself to a small number of pints. Obvously. Then when you get home you go upstairs to bed and go to sleep. Naturally. you don't look into the room where your new pc with the big colouredy screen is sitting there, newly installed broadband box winking at you from under the table. Even if you're stupid enough to have a quick spin, you do not start to investigate the online scrabble thing that one of the Fabulous Galway Gospel Choir pointed out to you the previous week. Upon deciding that you might have a quick look you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT START EIGHT ONLINE GAMES, INCLUDING ONE IN BLEEDING FRENCH AND STAY UP TILL FIVE BEING HAMMERED BY PEOPLE FROM COUNTRIES WHERE IT'S STILL BRIGHT OUTSIDE!
when will we ever learn, when will we ever learn?

busy w/end

The fabulous Galway Gospel Choir are doing their Christmas thang at 8.30 tomorrow in the Abbey Church in Galway city, immediately prior to going on the piss. Before that my u14s are playing Offaly Lions at rugby. Sunday my two ballerinas are flitting across the stage in the Town Hall Theatre in their biennial show. Looking forward to a rest at work on monday!

too much information!

Been tagged by Jack mcBastard.
Seven facts about me.
1. For my third birthday my Grandad bought me a drum. My parents hid the drumsticks and told me it was a stool. I sat on it for six months.

2. Though totally not superstitious, not interested in tarot readings, palmistry and would run a mile from a seance, I have seen three ghosts in my lifetime, all of whom were cycling bikes at the time.

3. Once peed on Dermot Morgan's shoe (accidentally).

4. Gospel music makes me cry (listening, not singing)

5. Ditto brass bands

6. Are we there yet? no? shit! I've developed a safety valve which stops me drinking any more when I'm (just about)pissed.

7. I get annoyed whenever anyone mentions star signs or enneagrams.

Right then, I tag macdara, http://macdara.wordpress.com/, Ellie. http://whenthebelfastchildsinsagain.blogspot.com/, Tonii,http://next2lastchapter.wordpress.com/, govstooge, http://govstooge.blogspot.com/ Annie,http://annierhiannon.blogspot.com/ savannah,http://savmarshmama.blogspot.com/and Bock,http://www.bocktherobber.com/

generation gap

Scary thing happened the other day. I was teaching a song to a 12 year old, so I told him I was going to record it so he could play along with it at home. I produced a blank cassette and went to put it in the recorder. "what's that?" says he. "A cassette", says I. One you can record on? Cool!" says he. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, having spent the last week or two trying to find a mini hi fi system that incorporates a cassette player, but still!

Word games.

I suppose I'm probably the last person on the planet to know about this, but just in case I'm the second last, www.freerice.com was recommended to me by someone who should know better. Bad enough that I'm addicted to verbotomy and that none of my family will play scrabble with me any more, (me? Smug expression? me?) and that I'm a three sudoku a day man, (Irish Times). I had one of my madey-uppey words published in a Toronto newspaper last week, which has to officially confirm my anorakdom. So midway through the busiest week of my working year, this Swiss git sends me the url of a friggin word game!

OK stop press! I was pausing a couple of seconds ago, wondering what noun to use after the word Swiss, when my phone rang. I picked it up, to find it was a call from Geneva! How scary is that! I know two Swiss people, both of whom live in Galway (but only one of whom is a git). Maybe that big particle accellerator yoke that they built over there picks up on Swiss vibes or something. Where's that Scully bitch when you need her?

christmas fear

Just reading about Govstooges' pre-christmas panic (http://govstooge.blogspot.com/) is enough to put the fear of God into you about the Christmas shopping. I know it's irrational, but I hate people who have their Christmas shopping done by the time the kids go back to school. What the fuck kind of lives do these people lead? I seceretely (well, not secretely any more now) hope that all their presents suddenly become useless through sudden onset allergies, baldness, impotence or legal proceedings. The only people more deserving of our sympathy than last minute shoppers are the poor shop assistants who have to try to assist, talk down, and suffer the moods of us panickers. I spent a decade or so in retail management in the nineties and the re is nothing quite like the dread of waking up on Christmas Eve morning, knowing that you would be dealing with a lethal cocktail of panicking punters, hungover staff wearing santa hats, bosses phoning on the half-hour looking for up to date figures, drunk punters, thieves, pickpockets, staff wondering can they leave early to get a bus to Donegal/Roscommon/London, staff not wanting to work in the same area as the staff member they shifted at the drunken staff party three days before, lost children, lost parents, lost grannies and the knowledge that you had to come in on Stephen's day to organize the displays for the sales.
Ho Ho Ho indeed!

I'm Back

Aapologies to my dedicated reader. Had a hectic month at work and neglected all my regular blog reading/writing duties. Had a few nice experiences during the hecticity (sorry, too long away from www.verbotomy.com, obviously). Had the Uachtarain visit our workplace, where my youngest daughter (8)presented her with flowers. Saw lots of kids having great fun at science shows that we organized around the county. The Fabulous Galway Gospel Choir got to sing support to the Even More Fabulous Harlem Gospel Choir, who were realy nice with compliments and hugs! Great buzz! Saw my 16 year old son dancing quite competantly in his school play, while managing to look mortified at the same time. Priceless!

can't talk now

can't talk now. running Science Festival.

Scary stories

We're on a major halloween party carousel at the moment. Our eight year old had a party yesterday and has two today, with a 1 hour window in between for trick or treating. She went to yesterday's party as cinderella's ghost. My lady wife works in the health services, primarily with primary school children. Yesterday she asked all of the kids who came to see her what they would be dressing up as for trick or treat. the response was as follows;
6 witches
4 vampires
1 werewolf
1 priest.
I see Twenty Major is getting into the halloween spirit, sporting a rather scary looking eye injury, picked up in the line of Damien Rice dissing. I think he's just trying to look sufficiently ugly so John Kelly won't feel threatened, and will invite him to talk about his new buke. Let's be careful out there!

What do we like about the Irish soccer team

1. They make the Irish Rugby team look competant.
2. They work wonders for the self-esteem of crap soccer nations
3. The press conferences
4. errrrrr....ehhhhhm.......ehhhh (actual transcript of some of the press conferences)

I'm scared

I'm not a "new man" type. I generally keep my personal feelings to myself and I am careful about who confide in. However, there are times when the nerve endings become so frayed that discretion goes out the window and the bottling up of emotions brings with it a steady increase in pressure, until the decision about who to tell and in what circumstances goes out the window. A safety valve somewhere takes over before the overproduction of bile and the endless anguished sleepless nights lead to a screaming mental eruption.
I'm really really scared that there is a slight slight chance that England might win the Rugby World Cup. Not because of any xenophobic, political or historic reasons. Not because they wouldn't deserve it if they did win. Not because it could have been us (it couldn't). No.
We could never watch or listen to rugby commentry on a british channel ever ever ever again. Ever. Even if England were beaten. Even if England weren't playing. Even if it wasn't international rugby. Even if it was under 10 rugby. So when George Hook loses what remains of his marbles or Trevor Brennan quits punditry to take up a career in poetry, or the creeping paralysis finally reaches Neil Francis' face, we'll have to watch sailing on Setanta.
Sorry, just had to get it off my chest.

Finglas Sweet Factory Explosion

Cherchez la ooompah loompah?

Eddie Eddie Eddie....

Does anyone have the address of yer man/woman that whacked the Pakistani cricket manager? We might be able to start a whip around. Now there's a contract negotiation involving the Irish manager which might prove more popularwith the Irish fans.

world leaders

Listening to the news on my phone while on the bus to work this morning, I heard the latest about the very scary situation which has developed in Myanmar. While the powers that be in the region get all muscled up, "world leaders appealed for calm". Which is great. I'm just wondering exactly who these world leaders are and how you qualify to be a world leader? Do you have to pass any exams, do a degree in world leadership? Do they have business cards with their title on it? What are the wages like? If anyone can let me know more about it I'd be very interested in it. I reckon that world leadership mioght be just my kind of thing. I have five kids ranging in age from eight to twenty, so I know all about appealing for calm.

I still have had no takers for Ellie's Pay it Forward project. Does no one want a gift from a future world leader?

Exposing the soft underbelly

The wonderful Ellie posted the following on her website yesterday. who could pass up such an offer?
"There is a book written by Catherine Ryan Hyde called "Pay It Forward", that has been adapted into a film starring Helen Hunt and Kevin Spacey. The premise is simple. When someone does something nice for you in any way you don't pay that person back, you "pay it forward" by doing something nice for another person. It's kind of like the gift that keeps on giving.So here's how the Blog world version of PIF goes.

I'll send a handmade gift (although my gift may not be made by me I will try to make it personal to the recipient )to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog saying they want to play. The only thing you have to do in return is "Pay it Forward" by making the same promise on your blog. If you don't have a blog you would be on the honour system of paying it forward in your day to day life. Of course, eventually I'd need your address to send you your goodies, so you'd need to be willing to part with that."
So let me know if you want to partake.