Just reading about Govstooges' pre-christmas panic (http://govstooge.blogspot.com/) is enough to put the fear of God into you about the Christmas shopping. I know it's irrational, but I hate people who have their Christmas shopping done by the time the kids go back to school. What the fuck kind of lives do these people lead? I seceretely (well, not secretely any more now) hope that all their presents suddenly become useless through sudden onset allergies, baldness, impotence or legal proceedings. The only people more deserving of our sympathy than last minute shoppers are the poor shop assistants who have to try to assist, talk down, and suffer the moods of us panickers. I spent a decade or so in retail management in the nineties and the re is nothing quite like the dread of waking up on Christmas Eve morning, knowing that you would be dealing with a lethal cocktail of panicking punters, hungover staff wearing santa hats, bosses phoning on the half-hour looking for up to date figures, drunk punters, thieves, pickpockets, staff wondering can they leave early to get a bus to Donegal/Roscommon/London, staff not wanting to work in the same area as the staff member they shifted at the drunken staff party three days before, lost children, lost parents, lost grannies and the knowledge that you had to come in on Stephen's day to organize the displays for the sales.
Ho Ho Ho indeed!
4 comments:
That's a fate worse than death! (Or debt)! A side I never saw before, as I am usually barricaded indoors on Christmas eve having developed acute agoraphobia!
Yes, I pray that the early shoppers should forget one essential item! The BATTERIES!!! Bwahhahahahaha!
Cheers for the reference BTW!
Oh God, working in retail is the hardest job of all, IMHO. I clerked when I was in high school, and that, along with the threat of waitressing, convinced me I had to get a job safely enclosed away from the public. Funny about the batteries mentioned above: as kids we always got toys that needed them, but never got the damn AAs or AAAs to make them work. Now that really sours Christmas!
I would like to apologise on behalf of panickers everywhere. I just hate Christmas so much that I find it hard to get motivated before 20th December, I wish I had the balls to tell everyone that I am no longer doing Christmas.
Last week, in an attempt to avoid the last minute rush, I went into town to start my shopping, the stress was too much for me and I ended up in the pub until 1am.
Ho bloody ho ho!
Don't talk to me about batteries! I bought a charger and 4 rechargeable batteries for a knackered old (1.8 megapixel) camera which I use about three times a year, four if we happen to have a sacrament (first communion or confirmation). so when ever i dig out the camera, doubtless at least two of the batteries are missing, so I go screaming around the house shouting abuse and ripping the innards out of discmans, x-boxes and remotes until I find the little dears.
Ellie, that was the sensible thing to do. You don't want to peak too soon!
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