seaslide

You live and learn. An evaluation sheet for a summer course run for teachers on the seashore as a learning environment had the helpful comment that there was a health and safety issue with the field trips. The sea weed was very slippy.

highs and lows

Met a young guy last week who was over on holidays from the States. I went to school with his dad and he introduced himself to me while I was playing music with his uncle, a good friend of mine. Very pleasant, friendly, out going kid, 17 or 18 years old. He went to Dublin for the weekend with his travelling companion. They went clubbing, met some more young American tourists, one of whom had "legal herbal smokes" which he offered around to the assembled. Two days later, the young lad is brought into the psychiatric unit in a very distressed state and was admitted straight away. The boy has no history of any psychiatric problems. His parents flew over straight away, hoping to bring him home, but the hospital say that he will need to remain as an in-patient for at least another week.

Greetings from Atlantis

Ireland is soon to disappear into the sea. Not soon as in within the next three million years. No. Soon as in during the All-Ireland hurling final, towards the end of September. Belfast had three quarters of the average rainfall for august last Friday, Dublin has had four times the average rainfal so far this month. Galway has been serially pissed on (and pissed off) since Westlife started their mellow submarine tour here in July. I.m all set, with my inflatable lidl kayak under the bed each night as I sleep (not an easy thing do do in a lifejacket). Could be worse, I suppose. I could have a 08 registered convertable in the driveway (snigger). At least we got to dry off briefly this year. Went to Carnac for two weeks in August and had lots of exposure to the orangey ball in the sky. There are a lot of very tense people around the place who haven't had that luxury, having bought that mobile home/chalet in the wesht, north wesht or southwesht. Very dangerous topic of conversation hereabouts. It's unusual for the weather not to be spoken about on a daily basis in Ireland, but now saying the four letter word beginning with R is like playing Russian roulette (which also begins with R. Wow!). Far too many pale twitchy people around for my liking.

Dear google map person

Hello. You're doing a great job. I wonder if you could do me a little favour while you're at it. Could you keep an eye on the cats on our road when everybody goes to work? Just for a couple of days during the week. I was walking to work this morning and i noticed all the cats on our road were sitting in their respective driveways or gardens. Watching me. It was as if they were waiting to make sure all the humans were out of the way before they started. Doing something. The dog won't get out of bed unless we're at home, so I'm sure he knows there's something afoot. Or apaw. Our cat, Mittens, killed a pigeon that was bigger than himself last week. Feathers everywhere. He's gotten very self confident lately. Hmmm.

athletic support

I was watching the athletics from Roma last weekend, and saw at least two races where despite the use of a pacemaker the races did not end up being particularly fast. Now I'm no runner, with the exception of the odd bus or last orders occasionally, so I'll have to consult with Fatmammycat or some other professional, but I think I spotted the problem. The pacemaker was running IN FRONT OF the other runners. I reckon if you're going to pay for a pacemaker they should run behind the other runners, preferably with an electric cattle prod or large ridgeback and hurling verbal abuse and threats at those in front. In the good old days, when Ballybane had a butchers shop instead of a roundabout we used to run home with the liver (deliver the liver), chased by two hungry Irish wolfhounds. Not a barrell of laughs, I'll grant you, but by god the liver was fresh when we brought it home (if we brought it home....)

sad day

Had the terrible misfortune of attending the funeral of a 14 year old yesterday. A lad I had coached in rugby over the past year died suddenly while playing sports in summer camp. During the service the priest itemised a list of some of the boy's experiences and achievements at that terribly tender age, including practically finishing his first novel, which would put many of us to shame. His eleven year old brother, roommate and confidant addressed the huge congregation at length and with great honesty, dignity and a level of insight which belied his years. His schoolmates sang and played music beautifully, though their hearts were fit to burst with grief, experienced at far too young an age. The young buried the young.

The workings of a teenagers mind

We spent a lovely couple of weeks on a campsite in Carnac last year. We go to Brittany every other year or thereabouts, lots of Breton friends over the years through music etc. 16 going on 17 particularly had a ball, enjoyed a lot of freedom becaurse the campsite was very safe, lots of other 16 going on 17 year olds hanging by the pool etc. So good was the holiday we decide to repeat it this year. 16 going on 17 balks because the older boys didn't HAVE to come on holiday with us when they turned 17. Still with me? Good. Ok. So 16 going on 17 comes home from school in December asking whether he can go on the school skiing trip in the US at Easter. We saw the price, took a deep breath and said "OK, but you will have to come to Brittany with us in the summer" (Main concern being that the house would turn into a complete cess pit and fall down if our three sons were left alone in it for a fortnight) "I'll think about it" says he. Eventually he agrees, but he's left it so long that all the places on skiing trip are filled. sigh..........
Two weeks before skiing trip He comes home to say someone has pulled out of the skiing trip and they're holding the place for him. "Fair enough" we sigh, "provided you come to Brittany. He balks. No way is he going on holiday. "none of the others had to come with you". "True. But none of the thers have ever been on a skiing trip and/or to the US." we counter. We call his bluff, but he hangs tough and doesn't go skiing in the US at Easter.
Last week he says he's going to come to Brittany with us.

your lifejacket is under your seat!

Things are going from worse to worser around here. Lady wife and daughters sank into the pitch at Pearse Stadium over the weekend while bopping to Shane Ward and Wetlife between thunderstorms. I was nearly killed while driving to collect them, when I was overtaken by two elephants, two giraffes, two wildebeeste etc. Then we're officially told that the recession is cranking up nicely. I had a conversation with a Donegal fisherman which made me feel very angry. He was well past the anger stage. Then I hear that a work colleague (on secondment from school)gets an E mail informing him that the ninth annual contract he's been awaiting from the dept of Education will not be forthcoming. He had regional responsibility for a particular aspect of education in all schools in the county of Galway (some 300 or so). He will be replaced by a national call centre.
On what is maybe a lighter note (or maybe not)last night the Galway City Council in their wisdom (?!) elected the person most hated by city council officials since the dawn of time to be Mayor of Galway.
I purchased a lifejacket and inflatable kayak from Lidl a couple of weeks ago. Inspirational!

Better news

Read today about a study where 40% of gambling addicts were able to refrain from gambling for a month when on a course of some new drug.
Probably worth a shot at those odds.

Has anybody seen Macdara

Anyone know what happened to macdara's blog? Has he moved or given up?

lisbon shmisbon

That's that screwed up anyway. When the rest of Europe come whinging to us about non-ratififeckingcation of their treaties we'll tell them "don't blame us, blame Azerbijan, Finland, Macedonia, San Marino etc. You give our most famous turkey the boo hiss treatment, ye can feck off for yeerselves."
Anyway, eldest son made it home in one piece from the mandatory year in Australia. If he were to be believed, you'd swear it was Siberia he was coming home to. Myself and the three sons went across the road to our local to watch the match Wednesday night. It was the first time we had done so as a group and it was a bit surreal. I felt that we were on the set of a western or something. Good fun.
It's amazing how much fuller the house seems all of a sudden. You'd have thought that the difference between a family of 6 and one of 7 wouldn't be too dramatic, but we now reqlise that it's time to bite the bullet and hire a receptionist, doorman and chauffeur. Let ye not worry about the stinking carcass of the celtic tiger, we'll soon have the economy back on track!

older by degrees.

Ok. I give up. I'm officially ancient. My 19 year old ickle boy has finished his final exams and if he's to be believed, will be the proud owner of a degree in history and soc and pol (with special expertise in Socialism and anti-Shellism)in the next few weeks. His big brother is on his way back from his Year In Australia. The recently appointed 17 year old is the proud owner of an airsoft gun which arrived in the post looking very menacing yesterday. 14 year old daughter is as usual, displaying a more sensible approach to life than either of her parents, and the baby (9) is getting scarier/less cooperative/better at tantrums on a daily basis. the dog has set a new world record for shedding, having reached four years without missing a day. The cat, however is progressing quite nicely. He has become more affectionate since we bought the new softer duvet. The little things become more important as you trundle downhill.

Socket to me, Monsieur le President

I've been having too much fun lately to write. The Fabulous Galway Gospel Choir did a couple of gigs over the past fortnight or so. The first featured a guest artiste who is a household name in quite a few houses. Yes folks the very holy James Kilbane sang with us! "It's an awful pity he wasn't born in the States" I thought looking at him in his lovely black suit. "Sure, Hilary or Obama or yer man who makes the chips wouldn't have a chance beside him. He'd be a gorgeous president". Then we did a gig with a French choir, who choreographed and acted out all of their songs. The Parish Priest wondered whether they sang religious songs. Then he read their pamphlet which explained the songs in English and asked no more. I think the ones about the garden gnomes and breastfeeding kittens proved most entertaining. My wife has been so nice and supportive of late, that on Friday, as a special treat, I let her take one of my teeth out. Down to 4 panadol a day now.

april schmool

Laziness, holiday changes in routine and the fact that the fecking hard drive in my (new!ish! as in 4 month old) pc screamed and died, have combined to make me less communicative than usual. All is well, Passed the twenty two years married mark yesterday, which proves there are saints living amongst us. Eldest has left Oz and will spend another two months on a series of beaches in Thailand on route home. He's already starting to panic about the weather. Number two son is coming close to the end of his final exams and is even grumpier than me. Son number three is back to school after a fortnight's clubbing/gaming/sleeping half the day/asking for money. 14 year old Daughter is independently wealthy, having run an easter craft,song and dance camp for twelve 5-9year olds in our kitchen last week. 9 year old daughter just gets cuter andbossier! Went to the doctor today and left most of my blood in her office as she tried not to snigger when telling me to stop eating crap and stop putting salt an the non-crap that i eat. I'm as healthy as an overweight middleweight trout, but a good buddy got a scare recently so I'm doing the sure-to-be-sure thing.

flexitime in prison

I admit it. I was being holier than thou about the GAA. We were having a discussion about thuggery at work this morning and i was harping on about the ability of the gifted GAA player to get away with all sorts of shennanigans on and off hte pitch and the spectators/guards/witnesses all seem to develop amnesia/selective blindness and a spot of wrist slapping is the usual sanction. Then I look at the Irish times online this morning and what tdo I see? two headlines one under the other:
Kearney begins life sentence for murder.
Kearney to play full back on Saturday.

Póltachts for the people

I was perusing the Central Statistics Office yearbook for 2007 the other day over a cup of coffee, like you do. It's like the Guinness Book of Records without the gross photographs. Anyway, I notice that the Polish population of Ireland has surpassed 63,000. Further on I notice that the number of people who speak Irish on a daily basis outside school is 53,471. So we should probably start looking at setting up a few Poltachts, where you can go to learn Polish, or build a house if you speak Polish well enough to pass an exam. It's only a matter of time before we have to put a Polish verse onto the God awful "Ireland's call" as they'll make up the front row of our scrum and hopefuly be able to throw the ball in straight. Once the intermarraige between east and west gets going we should be unstoppable. With their work ethic and our charm we'll conquer the world, not to mention the porn industry. We await with interest the father of all pornstars, Seánín Stopavitch!

stolen laptop containing data of over 171,000 blood donors

Galwaywegian:
Blood, A+, a bit sticky.
always tries to get a second bottle of Guinness with chat up lines which haven't been used since Frank Sinatra was a boy.

Marry in haste....

Feck Yer man Dunne and yer other man Dunphy in pushing the FAI into a decision on our new manager. If we'd waited one more week we could have got Castro! Now there's a fucker who knows a thing or two about defence!

why do they call it cold calling?

There should be a seperate room in hell for people who phone us in the evening wanting us to change phonecomapnies/insurancecompanies/alarm companies etc. Preferable in a particularly hot part, next door to the latrines.

Commodores can be saved

Great news for mankind.
http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/
idUSN0628232520080207?feedType=nl&feedName=ushealth600
(sorry, linky thing won't work)